Category: Humor

“Today at work there was an occasion that I had to take the square root of the country’s population. Now if the immigrants here, who are rude and blunt just like me and come from populous countries, hear you talking about the square root of Norway or Sweden they’d object and comment: “How big is an ant that you even wanna make a stue out of it”. Some others may also object and argue that you can’t take square root out of three dimensional people, cause you get one and a half dimensions, something between a line and a plane. You don’t even know what that result is let alone it be something useful or not. In all these regards I remember I had touched upon an example here earlier. And so I’ll explain for you whether such an operation is possible or not. You may already know that for each alive orangutan on earth there’s roughy one bonobo, two gorillas, three chimps and a hundred and seventy thousand humans on earth. This means that the population of orangutans, bonobos even reportedly gorillas is less then the square root of the seven billion population of us humans. In other words, our population is bigger than the square of their population. Now this can be put in perspective in a thousand ways. For example you can try to arrange the whole mankind in a military morning ceremony and then give an extra row to orangutans. You see you will lack orangutans to fill that row. But here I will try to illustrate it for you even better: Imagine you are on vacation in some Bali islands. You are walking around till a huge coconut grabs your attention. You approach the coconut but all of a sudden an ugly rude baby orangutan bothers you that hey, what the fuck you’re doing here! You don’t wanna chicken out and confront back but the family turn up. And more and more orangutans appear out of the blue. They even call Indonesia and bring more to support. Anyhow all of them even from zoos around the world mobilise to a historic battle with you, alone! You alone and 40,000 orangutans; such an unfair insult and all of it over a coconut, which we all know was just a poor excuse. Your patient is over and you attack them back. Just like Kill Bill no matter how many you kill, there’s more of them attacking you. So inhuman and unfair! Let’s it’s a lucky day and finally you manage to scape. You complain to your parents and they get furious and go to the principal of the world in the white house and the UN. The case is out of your hand and Uncle Trump promises your parents that he will follow this case in person. After all he gives a supreme Jihad command to the mankind to head to Indonesia all together! Well, Indonesia, many are already there, but the rest join too… To revenge the unjust act of the silly orangutans. Some quick math. From 7 billion humans we grant military exemption to the women like most countries do, we are left with 3.5 billion. There’s a billion boys under 18 out there that together with the elderly and the disabled make up to 1.5 billion people. You see we have 2 billion soldiers left and even if we send them all empty-handed to Indonesia there will still be 50,000 humans per each of those orangutans that had assaulted you. Still more than their 40,000 total army. There’s a little difference here though. Now they can’t even escape and nag to their parents like you did, as mom and dad and the granny and the baby orangutans all and all are busy in the middle of the battle field, just like the movie 300. You see, with such a brilliant idea, Trump not only finished off the assaulting orangutans, but also showed every single one of them how unfair and unjust it was, what they did to you; Just like the judgement day. Well, this example shows that bonobos, orangutans and such apes are less populous than the square root of the children of Adam and Eve. So, yes, next time you get stuck with the calculations and wondered how to take a square root of a population, this is a way to go!”Hiroshima