I don’t have “dyslexia”.
If you are curious, I am a “grapheme-color synesthete”. It’s a different thing.
Or argualbly of a “phoneme-color” type. (They are sisters)
It’s the most comon type of synesthesia out there. Means seeing inevitably fixed colors in letters and numbers.
It usually helps folks to get better with spelling. In my case too. However, there are corner cases that this ruins life for me. I am blind to them and appear dyslexic.
The [personal] problem is that my consonants have unique and saturated colors. The wovels on the other hand are grayscale and mostly transparent. So the wovels get melted and merged with their consonant neighbors. In fact they get their colors from their neighboring consonants.
That makes mixing vowels much easier. In the particular case of “o” and “u” it’s even worse. They are both quite glassy and they sound similar. So it is random to use them in the right order if they both appear in the same word.
I always thought I am lazy or too dependent on colors for spelling.
But in fact I just can’t learn words that follow that pattern. Words such as “customer” or “corrupt”. As we are blind to our blindspots, I wouldn’t know this without a feedback. I didn’t see those as misspells to judge if they’re systematic or not, until my previous manager pointed out that specific pattern in my reports.
No matter how many times I leave marks or set signs or rules, I will never learn the right spell when it comes to those words and I will end up tossing a coin again. It’s just not worth the effort. Similar issues appear in coding too.
The wovel transparency issue applies to both alphabets that I know (Arabic and Roman). Wovels are transparent / grayish and same-sounding consonants have the same color in both alphabets. When I tried to learn a third alphabet (Cyrillic) things quickly shaped that way, too. Except for the cognitive dissonance of color mismatch between similar looking letters (such as “И” and “N”) that sound different. Which makes it harder to learn them for me.
“И” sounds “I” and should be white/milky transparent but it is red at the first glance because it looks like “N”.
Point, I am not “dyslexic”. I am “wovel color blind”, brought up to outsource spell-checking effort to colors, which did not turn out to be a full-proof approach.
P.S. By the way I live inside my head. I think you should too. As long as you talk about it.