The Candy

So with the post-start-loan-rejection shock I did some math to plan my future. Here in Norway there are two alternatives after I defend my PhD:

If my cafe finally works out I can go there on weekdays after my full-time programming job and serve costumers from 7pm to 11pm. I will employ myself and pay less than half tax (only 48%) as a second occupation. Then I have the only cafe in Norway where you can order food with a phone application and pick it up quick on your way. Since the plan sounds good enough to survive on its own, I won’t get any funding or sponsorship from the government. As long as I pay tax (on my benefit too) I am good to go. It’s tough but I will work harder and keep the business alive as long as I don’t cross the limits: it is illegal to work more than a certain limit! So I am already saved by the law from burning and exhaustion. And God also created weekends to chill so no more than four hours a day (from 11AM to 3PM) on Saturdays and Sundays. It is also illegal to work for free because of the black money involved (zero amount). So please don’t ask for longer opening hours if I can’t afford hiring someone else. There is nothing I can do about it. At least it will be open 4 hours every day. I won’t get time to travel though, but hey, do I need it? Now how about investing in a house instead? I have a small problem: I have already spent my savings on the cafe project and my salary before tax is already a bit higher than a certain limit to get a start loan (I already got a rejection). Then to get the initial capital I have one option left to choose from and that’s called saving. The good thing is that after few tax deductions on both jobs and living an economic life I can still put aside a little each month. It will take me only another three or four years to save the start money and then yeah! I will buy that small cozy apartment I once saw at Ilsvika. And later on a car beside it. And there will be even some left to buy a candy. Think of it. Five years from now, I own an average house, an average car and a good candy.

Now as an alternative. Let’s say after two years of bureaucracy (already passed) I give up the cafe project. Then I get depressed and will have to quit my job cause I am sick [of my situation]. No job. No cafe. Then I am entitled to get unemployment money which is off tax, I assume. And my net income which was a tiny bit more than the limit will be a tiny bit less and meets their criteria! I get the start loan and buy that small cozy apartment I saw once at Ilsvika. I will try to work here and there if my tough condition allows me. Meanwhile the government pays my energy bills and other basic costs of survival like beer, restaurants and travel to the south, which I need for my dignity (don’t laugh). They may not cover the gas for my crappy car though. That if I wait a bit more I save to buy a newer model, which is green and consumes less. I should also add that I always felt sorry for those who don’t care about the environment, but let’s don’t talk about them here. Anyhow, my humble life goes on and in five years, it’s me, with an average house, an average car, but no candy. No candy! Is that fair you think? I love candies!

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